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EXPECTING EXPECTATIONS

It's Monday and the sun came up brightly. A beautiful winter morning. A bit nippy but, and the green foliage outside shimmered, silvery and wet. There must have been some drizzle earlier on - before dawn. Some housekeeping to do, and stretch out the limbs. A bit of an effort there but; I mean, convincing the entranced mind off its most recent focus - a book by Gerald Seymour. I started flipping through it the other night when the winter cold did not give me a better option than curl up in bed for a bit of a read. Picked on this one, got engrossed from the tenth page onwards and had to force myself to put it down for a bit of a wink. Must get back to it again in a bit. Meanwhile, there are things to do, thoughts to write, emails to answer and... my morning coffee!

And that reminds me of things. Lot of things.

March 8, was International Women's Day and I thought, 'Wow, isn't it a wonder to be born in the millenium a woman..." Not that I personally know the feeling of being born a woman at some other time in history. But, if I go by what I read in books and newspapers; if I go by what I was fed by the media or by history book claims, I do not think I would have wanted to have been born my present self a century ago. I would have been a heretic. An oddity.

But never mind. I live in today's rich millenium age of woman power, gender equality, social freedom, global travel, new age spiritualism and multiculturalism. It's a great age. Great age for novelties and new discoveries.

Great by me, that is. It is easy to assume that it is geat, too, in others' eyes. It is easy to assume that the world I live in is similar elsewhere, or that my needs and wants are the same as those of others. Or that because we live on the same planet that things can be the same everywhere. The truth is, I don't know that. I don't know that everything that's revolving around me also revolves around others. And that if they do, they revolve in exactly the same way and in the same pace. And so I do not know if the world that seems great to me is just as great to everyone else. I do not know if the greatness of the world around me had been purchased at a price or that it might have been available there at the expense and on the sacrifices of others. I hope that that would not have been the case. But hopes or wishes aside, I would not know. And it is often said that what you don't know, you can't feel for. What you don't see, you can't judge.

I know the feel of the refreshing pristine morning air that I breath everyday. I may have a notion about the nasty feel of the smog-filled air around environmentally-unfriendly industrial zones, but by some good grace, I do not need to experience it to know enough. Nor do I need to know of the feel of having my lungs filled with tar and swathed in elements of pollution. I would rather that I know of the comfort of homey warmth during winter and of the good feel of cool air-conditioning during searing summer days. I know of the pleasure of having the choice to learn, experiment, read, search and discover and I know the good feel of having the time for them. "Count your blessings', a friend always says. And I am grateful for things that I either know or do not know. And while I know of joys, comfort, pains and sorrows, I only know them as mine. I cannot know them as not my own. In the same token, others cannot know or claim mine as they can only know theirs by themselves.

My own perspective is based only on my personal experience. It germinated from random life elements that by accident or coincidence drew upon a vortex for its creation - the point where perspectives are born, beholden for their growth to the freedom available to me. And that freedom is the same liberty of the mind in spawning an opinion. A freedom that is universally available to every one. And isn't that a grace. I mean, to have that freedom to think and form an opinion. And isn't it a grace also that we have the choice to avail or not to avail of it. And isn't it a great thing to have a choice to be either vocal or silent about it.

"Freedom is a state of mind- not freedom from something but a sense of freedom, a freedom to doubt and question everything and therefore so intense, active and vigorous that it throws away every form of dependence, slavery, conformity and acceptance." -Krishnamurti

I choose to be vocal. It is my option to speak my mind. You may not like me or my opinion. And that's your option. You are entitled to it. But while I choose to be vocal, I am not obliged to convince you to like my opinion. I am not obliged to rationalize to you my being vocal about it, either.

I agree with what Frederick Perls said:
“I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”

I.N.D.I.O

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